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 9/12/11--Updated Backstory

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cybergreen
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cybergreen


Posts : 533
Join date : 2011-05-06
Age : 28
Location : New England

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20110912
Post9/12/11--Updated Backstory

As you probably knew, yesterday was the tenth anniversary of 9/11. Let us have a moment of silence.

Now... I will begin.

On modern Earth, the inevitable happened. World War III. But it was instigated by stealthy and subtle measures... Instigated by the Archfiend and his minions, the Fiends. Ok, let's back up a bit...

On another planet, many years ago, there existed many creatures. There also existed a powerful energy force that imbued some of the vegetables, minerals, and other parts of the planet. There were many kinds of energy, each unique. But they could all be put under one umbrella term.

Magic.

Animals of various kinds ingested or otherwise absorbed the magic, forming a race of intelligent and powerful creatures known as the Seikilos. The offspring of the Seikilos were heavily influenced by the magic during their development and growth, making them fully transform into creatures of magic themselves at the age of a thousand years. Some of these Seikilos were mild and gentle, or wild and adventurous. It all depended on the very nature of the magic indwelling them.

And there was one species that was belligerent, warlike, and on top of that gifted with powerful fire and shadow magic. They were the Archfiends. Although not evil as a rule, many of them gave into their wilder and more animalistic instincts and made war on their brethren. For this they were banished, every single one, regardless of personal crimes, to a realm separate from the rest of them.

Well, almost every single one. There was one left... A Seiki that was shielded by his friend, another Seiki of a separate species. The Archfiend Seiki had no name, as was the custom of his species, but the Seiki that protected him from her elders was named Anghael. She warned him to flee and hide from the wrath of the Seikilos, and so he fled to caves deep in the heart of the planet.

There the darkness of his nature was compounded by forces even more ancient and devious than his own lineage, and finally he came into his full power, once he reached a thousand years of age. He gathered his power, and fled through the universe looking for another hospitable world.

Not far away was what was once a perfect world, although since fallen it was called Earth.

Born of the sheer hatred and malice in the Archfiend's heart was born the Fiends, a race of pure evil, sinewy, clawed monsters. Through their subtle guile they put fear and anger into the hearts of Earth's leaders, and before long the third war that encompassed the whole world was unleashed.

During this time a small group of researchers had just finished their greatest invention- a ship that could support life for easy and simple travel to other planets. As news was broadcast of powerful missiles being sent to destroy their country, the scientists made a frantic escape from their planet.

The missiles landed, and most of the world's population was destroyed. The governments were in shambles.

And it was at this time the Archfiend and the Fiends took control. They enslaved the remnants of humanity and forced them to work, building up an empire. Ironically, it was the only time all of humanity had been united under peace with one another.

***

After several years, the small spacecraft found a hospitable planet! They landed (read crashed) and exited. An even greater miracle- the air, atmosphere, and gravity were absolutely perfect! And they were greeted by strange creatures... Some humanoid, and some not... The leaders, a race that looked like angels from heaven, acted as spokesmen. And though they could not understand the words, the humans could clearly hear the meaning in their minds.

***

Some more years passed on Earth. The world, weakened by this alien magic so foreign to it,and by the devastating warfare years before, was starting to deteriorate. Eventually the world was at a point where it might collapse any day! Humanity rose up and overthrew the Fiends which held them captive, but sparing the Archfiend who promised them that he could save them all.

But the evil and craft nature of the Archfiend was still as strong as ever, and he knew very well what to whisper into their hearts to make them believe him, to make them think they had won. And he knew very well just where it was that he transported the only surviving continent of Earth to.

***

The Continent merged with the part of the planet known to its inhabitants as the Wastelands. Memories and echoes of Humanity's history had survived among the descendants of the humans and the Angels, as the leader species of the Seikilos were called by those emigrants long ago. A sort of feudal system had come about over many years, echoing that of earth's history but mixed with knowledge of modern technology.

The Wastelands were deserts of barren land, filled with bandits, cactuses, sand, and monsters. But until the Archfiend and his people came, it belonged to Alteria. Then it was known as the Meinlands, the earthlings' word for Wastelands. And the newcomers themselves, warped by magic, were called by themselves the Sheim'n, the Abominations. No sooner had they arrived but the Archfiend wrought his magic and physical form once more, making them think he was one of them.

And the Outsiders and Royalists fought each other. The Outsiders, hardened and dark from generations of service to twistedly evil masters, fought viciously against these selfish attackers who plagued them shortly after their having fled from a dying world.

And the Royalists fought what they believed to be a just and righteous battle against these evil invaders.

This is the backstory of Alteria Online.

SO: All the races of AO are descended from Humanity. The Seikilos festival still happened, and so the Seikilos are all dead. >:-}

But the Archfiend is trying to get revenge on all the Seikilos and so has the Outsider army stop the festival. There is an 'ancient language' called English that only the wise people know how to read or speak. All the races speak bar-barish, etc.
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9/12/11--Updated Backstory :: Comments

Ananas
Re: 9/12/11--Updated Backstory
Post Mon Sep 12, 2011 9:02 pm by Ananas
So much writing!This sounds very interseting so far.
kenichi DaPuppy
Re: 9/12/11--Updated Backstory
Post Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:03 am by kenichi DaPuppy
.... I don't see why we(I) have to rewrite the whole storyline based on this.Its more detailed ye but it wouldn't affect the storyline we had that much.. except for the start.. We should have kept the storyline and done some minor changes.. not start all over..

If the background changed more dramatically i'd agree with starting over..but right now it was totally unneeded.


Its better now though... but still incomplete.. next time you add more to it don't make me restart the whole storyline again..please.Also..I wonder why you didn't include me in making the background story while that should be my job to atleast help.Unless you want me to give some notes right now.. which i will if you ask for them.


I apologize if any of the above sounds rude.
cybergreen
Re: 9/12/11--Updated Backstory
Post Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:21 am by cybergreen
We certainly wish to hear what you think should be added/changed, as you are our 'main storyline guy.'

However, there is something that we need to make clear: The work you had done; there really wasn't much there. You had part of the first 'chapter' of storyline, with just a ton of details. We really don't need details at the moment, but we need to figure out how the actual storyline will go. Afterwards the details can be filled in. ...And sorry about deleting all the storyline stuff; it as an accident :-|

We just figured since we had to more or less start over with the storyline we might as well implement the new backstory we had been thinking of. So, please tell us what you think needs to be added!
Ananas
Re: 9/12/11--Updated Backstory
Post Tue Sep 13, 2011 7:24 pm by Ananas
@Cyber: Does this mean we won't be using the storyline ideas K.P. had previously or will we use them later? Because I thought that we would be combining your idea and K.P's together, but from what I read from your last post we wouldn't.
kenichi DaPuppy
Re: 9/12/11--Updated Backstory
Post Tue Sep 13, 2011 8:48 pm by kenichi DaPuppy
Yes my storyline only had the first chapter..detailed.. The Disasters and how they happened aren't considered storyline?I had more than just one chapter.. and if you don't want details.. then why are you saying there wasn't much there?.. We had the outlining.; the "skeleton" as i called it... Its how i work.. I make an outline and little by little i add stuff.

And yes thats not alot but i don't get it when you say we need to figure out how the storyline will go.. i pretty much figured out that part, the disasters , the war, even how it ends. I was in the process of building on the skeleton i had.But i guess i did put too many details in the first part i just can't stop when i get inspired lol.

And yes more stuff will be added as i work on it, The disasters as they are... were ..they were basic but once again thats how i work...Each disaster is a seperate part and i build each one up individually and connect them later on (which isn't hard since they are already connected somewhat by the skeleton outlining).


And if you told me earlier that it was an accident i would have understood.. now it seemed like it was on purpose.. so ye.


I'll post my notes on the background story .;well right after i post this post lolz.


And @ananas: Oh we will use my ideas, otherwise they would be useless and i would be too right now.But cybie said they weren't so they will be used.. well.. what we remember of them.. good thing i remember about 85% of it.. minus the details.. that aren't nescesary so were good.. i think lol.
kenichi DaPuppy
Re: 9/12/11--Updated Backstory
Post Tue Sep 13, 2011 9:41 pm by kenichi DaPuppy
Cyberkyd_30 wrote:
As you probably knew, yesterday was the tenth anniversary of 9/11. Let us have a moment of silence.

Now... I will begin.

On modern Earth, the inevitable happened. World War III. But it was instigated by stealthy and subtle measures... Instigated by the Archfiend and his minions, the Fiends. Ok, let's back up a bit...

This totally throws me off o.O By the time you get to the WW III part most people have forgotten this start.. Just saying.. if we ever post the background story for the players to read or something it should be fixed.If thats not the plan then ..meh its not important.


On another planet, many years ago, there existed many creatures. There also existed a powerful energy force that imbued some of the vegetables, minerals, and other parts of the planet. There were many kinds of energy, each unique. But they could all be put under one umbrella term.

Magic.

You have ideas for the different kinds of energies? ..if not then i have atleast 20 of them ^^' (4 important ones).


Animals of various kinds ingested or otherwise absorbed the magic, forming a race of intelligent and powerful creatures known as the Seikilos. The offspring of the Seikilos were heavily influenced by the magic during their development and growth, making them fully transform into creatures of magic themselves at the age of a thousand years. Some of these Seikilos were mild and gentle, or wild and adventurous. It all depended on the very nature of the magic indwelling them.

And there was one species that was belligerent, warlike, and on top of that gifted with powerful fire and shadow magic. They were the Archfiends. Although not evil as a rule, many of them gave into their wilder and more animalistic instincts and made war on their brethren. For this they were banished, every single one, regardless of personal crimes, to a realm separate from the rest of them.

Well, almost every single one. There was one left... A Seiki that was shielded by his friend, another Seiki of a separate species. The Archfiend Seiki had no name, as was the custom of his species, but the Seiki that protected him from her elders was named Anghael. She warned him to flee and hide from the wrath of the Seikilos, and so he fled to caves deep in the heart of the planet.

Much confusion could be prevented by adding that its a seiki that turns into a seikilos after a thousand years.


There the darkness of his nature was compounded by forces even more ancient and devious than his own lineage, and finally he came into his full power, once he reached a thousand years of age. He gathered his power, and fled through the universe looking for another hospitable world.

Not far away was what was once a perfect world, although since fallen it was called Earth.

Born of the sheer hatred and malice in the Archfiend's heart was born the Fiends, a race of pure evil, sinewy, clawed monsters. Through their subtle guile they put fear and anger into the hearts of Earth's leaders, and before long the third war that encompassed the whole world was unleashed.

During this time a small group of researchers had just finished their greatest invention- a ship that could support life for easy and simple travel to other planets. As news was broadcast of powerful missiles being sent to destroy their country, the scientists made a frantic escape from their planet.

The missiles landed, and most of the world's population was destroyed. The governments were in shambles.

And it was at this time the Archfiend and the Fiends took control. They enslaved the remnants of humanity and forced them to work, building up an empire. Ironically, it was the only time all of humanity had been united under peace with one another.


The rest of this part is very good.


***

After several years, the small spacecraft found a hospitable planet! They landed (read crashed) and exited. An even greater miracle- the air, atmosphere, and gravity were absolutely perfect! And they were greeted by strange creatures... Some humanoid, and some not... The leaders, a race that looked like angels from heaven, acted as spokesmen. And though they could not understand the words, the humans could clearly hear the meaning in their minds.

This part should get expanded its so short... maybe more details on how they interacted? Or something else.Also the ruins of that ship would make a great dungeon or something like that.


***

Some more years passed on Earth. The world, weakened by this alien magic so foreign to it,and by the devastating warfare years before, was starting to deteriorate. Eventually the world was at a point where it might collapse any day! Humanity rose up and overthrew the Fiends which held them captive, but sparing the Archfiend who promised them that he could save them all.

But the evil and craft nature of the Archfiend was still as strong as ever, and he knew very well what to whisper into their hearts to make them believe him, to make them think they had won. And he knew very well just where it was that he transported the only surviving continent of Earth to.

Again its short but then again it connects directly to the next part so meh.Maybe a tale of a (group of) hero(es) that led the revolt atleast according to mythology?Maybe With the archfiend later pretending to be a descendant of those heroes or one of them to become emperor?


***

The Continent merged with the part of the planet known to its inhabitants as the Wastelands. Memories and echoes of Humanity's history had survived among the descendants of the humans and the Angels, as the leader species of the Seikilos were called by those emigrants long ago. A sort of feudal system had come about over many years, echoing that of earth's history but mixed with knowledge of modern technology.

The first sentence has nothing to do with the rest >.<


The Wastelands were deserts of barren land, filled with bandits, cactuses, sand, and monsters. But until the Archfiend and his people came, it belonged to Alteria. Then it was known as the Meinlands, the earthlings' word for Wastelands. And the newcomers themselves, warped by magic, were called by themselves the Sheim'n, the Abominations. No sooner had they arrived but the Archfiend wrought his magic and physical form once more, making them think he was one of them.

And the Outsiders and Royalists fought each other. The Outsiders, hardened and dark from generations of service to twistedly evil masters, fought viciously against these selfish attackers who plagued them shortly after their having fled from a dying world.

And the Royalists fought what they believed to be a just and righteous battle against these evil invaders.

Suddenly it refers to them as royalists and outsiders.. if i read this for the first time without knowing anything about it i would be so confused..especially since the outsiders are not made up of only sheim'n this would make it seem like they are.


This is the backstory of Alteria Online.

SO: All the races of AO are descended from Humanity. The Seikilos festival still happened, and so the Seikilos are all dead. >:-}

...wait what where did this come from.. why are they all dead.. it doesn't say how that happened... did they go extinct?... Did they breed with the humans too much? O.O.. did the festival kill them all? does that make sense? (no).And that would make a good extra background story chapter.Also.. what about the furries?.. how do they fit in here? Thats Another good part to add.


But the Archfiend is trying to get revenge on all the Seikilos and so has the Outsider army stop the festival. There is an 'ancient language' called English that only the wise people know how to read or speak. All the races speak bar-barish, etc.


Lol... its so funny .. its always english.. jk most people that play it will be english talking people so ye its good :p.Thats all for now.
Hawkfriend
Re: 9/12/11--Updated Backstory
Post Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:17 am by Hawkfriend
Yah this is the story for us to read.
It assumes prior knowledge.
I think it would be co poetry written in a different way if it were released publicly.
cybergreen
Re: 9/12/11--Updated Backstory
Post Wed Sep 14, 2011 10:39 am by cybergreen
This totally throws me off o.O By the time you get to the WW III part most people have forgotten this start.. Just saying.. if we ever post the background story for the players to read or something it should be fixed.If thats not the plan then ..meh its not important.

Yes, I know that. It just gave it more of a story feel and less of a textbook feel.

You have ideas for the different kinds of energies? ..if not then i have atleast 20 of them ^^' (4 important ones).

All I have an idea for are the one for the Archfiends and the 'Angels.' You need to discuss the rest with Hawk; he has a much better idea for them than me.

Much confusion could be prevented by adding that its a seiki that turns into a seikilos after a thousand years.

We already know this, and we can tell it to them in detail. Besides, we say that he transforms in the next paragraph.

The rest of this part is very good.

Thanks :-)


This part should get expanded its so short... maybe more details on how they interacted? Or something else.Also the ruins of that ship would make a great dungeon or something like that.


Hmm... Good point. Dungeons FTW!

Again its short but then again it connects directly to the next part so meh.Maybe a tale of a (group of) hero(es) that led the revolt atleast according to mythology?Maybe With the archfiend later pretending to be a descendant of those heroes or one of them to become emperor?

That's actually a really, really good idea!

The first sentence has nothing to do with the rest >.<

Yep, you're right, it needs to go in the next paragraph...

Suddenly it refers to them as royalists and outsiders.. if i read this for the first time without knowing anything about it i would be so confused..especially since the outsiders are not made up of only sheim'n this would make it seem like they are.

But WE already know... the random peoples will get more info.

...wait what where did this come from.. why are they all dead.. it doesn't say how that happened... did they go extinct?... Did they breed with the humans too much? O.O.. did the festival kill them all? does that make sense? (no).And that would make a good extra background story chapter.Also.. what about the furries?.. how do they fit in here? Thats Another good part to add.

...But we already know... Although we need to redo this part because of the new backstory... Maybe the Archfiend and the fiends found out that the humans had fled the planet, because after maybe a few hundred years he sent a spy Fiend to the planet, and then found out that the civilization existed. He got angry and took his army to completely destroy the planet, regardless of the fact that his people would be lot forever since the Seikilos couldn't free them if the Seikilos were dead... The Seikilos did the sacrifice to protect the entire planet, preventing him from using most of his power. But, later when he was weak anyway, he returned with the Outsiders. Disrupting the Festival at the beginning of the game allowed his power to slowly start to return. BTW one or two of the standard races will probably be a furry race.

Lol... its so funny .. its always english.. jk most people that play it will be english talking people so ye its good :p.Thats all for now.

It's a joke from DBZ abridged about English being the universal language, even among aliens Razz
kenichi DaPuppy
Re: 9/12/11--Updated Backstory
Post Wed Sep 14, 2011 2:28 pm by kenichi DaPuppy
I meant how do the furries fit in this story.. o.o.If they're one of the races their origin should be explained (along with the other races that haven't been explained yet ).
cybergreen
Re: 9/12/11--Updated Backstory
Post Wed Sep 14, 2011 3:36 pm by cybergreen
They are just descended from humans and Seikilos... Not really any special explanation needed in this backstory...

We can still do the chapter on the furry races. They can just be descended from a wolfish furry Seikilos Razz

But otherwise no changes needed.
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